Yell Into The Sky
by nekocandy4life
Summary: Pushed...that's what I'm allowing. Always being pushed, playing the faithful roll of the victim, and never stopping those prying serpents. I hate it. I hate them all of them but the words I long to yell into the sky does not come forth like the flood it wants to be. It just continues to grow and grow until I drown going under the tide into blackness;sad,I never got to scream it.
1. Prologue

**Hello there! **

**My name is Nekocandy4life and I hope you enjoy this Gravitation fanfic:3 **

**Hmmm there's not really much to say except in this fic Shuichi will be kind of OC and so might Yuki. BUT LETS GET BACK TO OUR LIL SHU CHAN HERE!  
In here Shu is 19 going to be twenty. Him and Yuki only went out for a year until Yuki *ahem* did something stupid but there's more to the story that this mistake ok! This takes place two years later after their breakup and Shu looks different. **

**His pink hair is longer (picture it to the knees long) and he looks more like a girl like that I guess. Hm. Well i WOULD tell you more but what's the point in that? You guys will just have to read it to see the surprises I have in store for all of you~ **

_Italics for past!_

Normal for present!

**Enjoy~ I OWN NOTHING BUT THIS SAD SAD PIECE OF HEART I HAVE IN ME.**

* * *

**Yell Into The Sky**

* * *

_Looking back on all this, I guess the only one to blame is me. I'm the one that led myself here on the balcony of my apartment. _

_The metal bar was cold beneath my bare feet as I looked down at the pedestrians below. The wind picked up kissing my poorly dressed body and then…I jumped._

"SHU CHAN!" my idol, Ryuichi Sakuma, yells at me as he bangs open the door and skips in in all his famous glory. "Shu chan, you up buddy?"

Yeah…you are probably wondering about all the stuff above with me jumping at this point right? Let me makes this clear.

No I am not dead squashed flat on some pavement right now. I would have been if not for this child bunny loving of a singer standing at the foot of my bed. It has been two years since everything crashed down on me.

Two whole years since then.

The fame

The secrets

The breakup

Two friggin years since I moved to Great Britain with my god Ryuichi.  
Ryuichi was the only one back then that understood somewhat what I was going through.

He was the one that took my sorry excuse of a human being under his wing when Yuki betrayed me along with my EX best friend, and Ryuichi was only one that interfered that night I jumped. Grabbing me in the nick of time before gravity could do its bloody job. Later on he took me with him to England and forced me into therapy secessions.

"Shu get up~!" I knew why my idol was waking me up and I groaned into my pillow wanting to block the wakeup call out but sighed when it could only be done verbally.

"Ryu…it's Sunday." Meaning no therapy today "let me sleep."

"Oh." Giggling at his silliness he leaves allowing me to snuggle deeper in my fluffy warm sheets and block the day out with promise of pocky filled dreams. Only the pocky dreams never come. What does come is the past of two years ago from today.

I guess I should start from the beginning as to not confuse you because surely you don't know my story—

Do you?

Of course not.

No one really knows the whole story, only small parts of it. They can't see the real Shuichi Shindou and you know what, I like it to stay that way.

_It was like any other day (not really everything about those days were getting harder to keep everything in.) I woke up; Yuki was already in his study typing another damn book like the workaholic he was. _

_You would think he would WANT some sleep after a deadline but meh, I think that was his way of avoiding me in the morning due to him not being a morning person. _

_Same here bud but it still stung just not nearly as much as what happened later on that fateful day. Of course we'll get to that later._

_I had so much (excuse the language kids) shit on my mind which led me to have nightmares of my past though no one seemed to notice anything. _

_That was one of the secrets I kept hidden._

_So after being awaken again by my dreams (nightmares) and not wanting to linger thinking about them I got up off the bed and did my morning routine. Back then I always burned on the inside at the clothes I had to wear for work which consisted of all bright colors due to being Japan's number 1 bubbly star. I looked like a friggin rainbow clown! _

_Like my hair wasn't enough._

_There's a stage personal for you._

_Just once I would have liked to wear clothes I wanted but hey, when you become famous you don't own yourself anymore; the media does. _

_Anyways back to the tale at hand._

_I had so much on my plate that it was becoming such a hassle, a painfully tiring hassle, to keep a smile plastered to my face and act happy but like always I managed to pull it off. And it always surprised me when not one person noticed my mascaraed of sunshine and lollipops. Either that or they just didn't care as long as I did what was expected of me. _

_Whichever I suppose it's not worth getting hung up on now. _

_Like always before leaving to work I yelled at the top of my lungs "Bye Yuki, I love you and be home soon!" wincing at the volume of my own voice I left for work. _

_The whole way I was paranoid out of my mind._

_Always looking around and behind me, and straining my ears to listen in on even the tiniest of sounds._

_Paranoia ran my life during that time. _

_If it wasn't paranoia about Yuki abandoning me again then it was always something else, something worse. _

_I hated it all.  
Always having to watch my back and keep the fear at bay. _

_If you are wondering, yes, the paranoia was connected to my past along with the dreams. Moving on please._

_Work went as usual; _

_Get shot at for being a minute late._

_Sing_

_Sing_

_Act happy_

_Act fine_

_Sing_

_Get shot at again for wanting to nap (the sleepless nights were finally taking hold of me.) _

_More singing and gun shots_

_The usual life of Shuichi Shindou famous singer—_

_But…_

_There was a tiny change throughout the work day and as I said before, my mind was too preoccupied that I didn't think much of the change at the time. If only I knew then how big this 'tiny change' would impact me. _

_We were in the middle of finishing one of the voice over for a single when my 'best friend' since I was nine years old left early that day. He never told me why and I never asked why. I just let it be. _

_After work I was walking down the street towards Yuki's when I got a call. That is where my unstable barrier began wavering. _

_The caller didn't say much, only five simple words, but my god just the voice was enough to get me running desperately for Yuki's safety. Now when I say safety I meant exactly how it sounds because the voice in wish I could forget said this._

_**"****You should check your house." **_

_My heart gripped in fear as I dashed madly for home at the time. Only…it wasn't my home like I believed back then. It was always Yuki's home; I was just allowed to 'leech' there. _

_Once inside I remembered going on the verge of a heart attack when grunts echoed down the hall. _

_For the record, most people IN THEIR RIGHT MINDS would have picked up what was going on if they heard their lover's grunts coming from the friggin bedroom. If not for the disturbing phone call I would have been one of those right minded person that left instead of being a dumbass and barged head first through the bedroom door, breaking it._

_The three of us could only stare dumbfounded, mouths agape and eyes wide. Them from being caught in the ungodly act and me from shock at catching them in said ungodly act. I was passed the point of shock. _

"_Shu—"_

"_Shuichi—"_

_I the emotional part of me flinched in pain as the two called me but the real me didn't say anything or show much emotion to be honest, though the emotions in me were breaking me, ripping me into more shreds on the inside. _

_It all swarmed from shock to sad to heartache to hatred then finally to nothing at all. That day the old Shuichi Shindou rised up from the grave I buried him in letting the two who hurt us catch a glimpse of who we really were on the inside. _

_Void._

_He didn't deny (because what was there to deny in that situation?)_

_He didn't cry or lash out (what was the point of wasting any more tears and breathe on them?)_

_He definitely didn't give them the pleasure of seeing past our barrier to see the broken mess on the inside. (What right did they have to see?)_

_No. Shuichi Shindou the real one steeled himself packed his things (which were close to little to none) and left not bothering to speak once to the two backstabbers. _

_Nor did he bother in the slightest to hear their pleas or reasons for hurting him. _

_Yuki my lover and Hiro my best friend—_

_They were the only two in my world that kept me sane. I felt safe around them and I loved them both dearly yet they betrayed me like so many others in my life. For that very reason they became like others— dead to me._

_Things went downhill from there. _

_Yes I did do drugs (nothing hard just weed. I'm not stupid like people believe me to be.)  
No I DIDN'T cut (I gotten over those urge long time ago.)  
I continued feigning my personality throughout the day although I did pick up Yuki's nasty habit of smoking like a chimney which didn't sit well with my boss and manager. _

_Soon faking personality became more than unbearable that my outer self-began breaking down letting my inner self lash out at times. It went to the point I actually resorted back to picking fights with anyone again and fucked them up too. _

_Also at times I was as cold as Yuki maybe even worse around anybody who wanted to have a 'word' with me. _

_Top that on with double the amount of paranoia times the fact I had no one to feel safe with and you get insomnia which means no sleep what so ever! _

_I felt like I was losing what little of my mind I had left at that point and eventually with all the nights of no sleep and stress I had to be hospitalized at one point. _

_If that was nowhere near enough, my sister Maiko…was murdered. _

_She got butchered in her sleep while our mother was out shopping for groceries. Poor mother had to walk in the house and find her in pieces. _

_What little sanity I was holding on the day before I heard the news of Maiko snapped. My antics became far beyond what one would consider worse. It went to the point I had to (my bad, FORCED to) take leave from singing until, and I quote, "I get my shit together". Said dear boss man Tohma Segucci._

_They all believed (probably still believe) that Yuki and Hiro were the cause of my downward spiral. Other say it was my sister's death and the media that undid me. _

_Those might have had been what contributed to my undoing but they weren't the main source. I kept the source to my smack down ungraceful fall on the face a secret until one man came tumbling after me after hearing about my leave from NG._

_The only one that took the task of making sure I would get better on himself was Ryuichi. _

_It became routine for him to check up on me in my own apartment and bring me food to eat. He would even use his bunny Kumagoro to cheer me up even in the slightest. _

_But the source was still out there watching, waiting, bidding his time to strike again. I knew it because the calls were increasing, he was taunting me, he was out about wanting my blood, and he wasn't going to stop. _

_This is where we got to in the beginning. _

_Me standing on the edge of my balcony ready to jump.  
The presumptuous sensations pounded into my head.  
The same battle being fought in my being._

_I didn't hear the door open or Ryuichi's voice as he called me. My mission that moment was dying._

_The soft wind lifted me as my feet pushed me into the air._

_My eyes closed to bask in the sweet sensation of floating for the moment._

_Next came the gravity but it never got its chance to do its job before Ryuichi caught me just as it was pulling me down. _

_Afterwards were filled with tears and demands on why I would kill myself. He closed in on me leaving me no room to escape so I gave in and told Ryuichi all my ugly secrets. My past. Everything that makes up Shuichi Shindou. _

I'm positive you all can guess or at least figure out what happened next after that night. Immediately he dragged me away from Japan and the things plaguing me there and brought me to England.

Things calmed down a bit since I left two years ago, leaving the fame grid and stayed low. I do admit missing my little family back there and singing just for the hell of it but not the fame or Japan itself. Especially if HE is still in Japan somewhere.

I don't want to be famous or go back to Japan and worry about HIM again.

I just want to sing my heart out again.

That's all.

* * *

**Please tell me what you think.  
**

**I have been reading and obsessing with so much Gravitation that I HAD to write this as it was on my mind!**

**I'm already beginning to start on the second chapter for this story but I like to know some people's opinions on it before I finish the second chap!**

**Thanks and I hope you enjoyed or if you have any questions feel very free like a bird to ask me!**

**Nekocandy4life~**


	2. Coming home?

**Yeah this is sort of short *looks away***

**I promise the next chapter will be longer and not...blah!**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

_My feet hit the wet pavement creating splashes with each step carrying me through the down pour of the rain as drops hit my abused body. The cuts stung as I let the droplets wash the blood from my nude form, cleansing me from all that has happened. But I will never be clean. _

_Not on the inside, not ever again. _

_The feeling of ugliness was already consuming me, disfiguring me. _

_Black spots clouded my vision as my breath became shallow pants. My body threatened to collapse from the blood lose but I couldn't allow that. I had to push on and get away from the monster behind me chasing me. _

_He was gaining speed,  
Catching up to my smaller form._

_My feet became bloody from running on glass but I couldn't focus on the pain. Not then when he was coming closer._

_'Got to get away'  
He's coming near  
'Hurry up!'_  
_He was right behind me_  
_'No…please!'_  
_His claws reached out._  
_'No!'_

* * *

I jolted awake with my heart trying to break out my ribcage it was beating so hard. My body was soaked with sweat reminding me of my dream. How disgusted I felt back then.

Bile came up my throat but I held the sickening vomit down. I refuse to puke right here on a plane.

Plane?

My eyes widen as I looked around confirming that indeed I was on a plane.

What the heck am I doing on a plane?!

My eyes narrowed to slit as I remembered.  
That's right.

Damn you Tohma for knowing how to push the right buttons and making me take the friggin job! I'm so stupid for falling for that manipulative bastard's insults but I can't stand it when people underestimate me.

Sigh.

Why must I feel the need to prove people wrong?

But will I be able to stand being back in Japan?  
The place that drove me mad, can I stand going through that again?

"Stop worry Shu chan!" a Kumagoro slammed in my face. Ryuichi was holding him smiling a sad kind of smile towards me.

"Hah?!" I pushed the pink bunny away from my face to look at its owner properly.

Brown eyes beamed at me in assurance "Kumagoro says don't worry! Shu chan will only be there for some weeks then he can come back to England! No worries!" he adds "You probably won't run into those big meanies Yuki and Hiro neither!"

And then there's…that.

Those two…god my mind id beginning to hurt dammit!

"Shuichi" Ryuichi's adult voice startles me as I turn to listen to this rare personality's words because it's so rare for him to use that voice with me. "Stop worrying. I promised myself I won't let anybody hurts you so don't stress yourself got it."

Bunny forgotten, my idol hands me a small white pill with some water as he continues "Now here. It's time for your medication and put your seatbelt on; it's almost time to land."

Great.

I roll my eyes but smiled a genuine smile none the less at knowing Ryuichi will never hurt me or abandon me. He's like an older brother, maybe even a father, to me.

**"Attention passengers; we are now arriving at Tokyo national airline. Please remain seated until the plane has come to a complete stop and thank you for flying with us."**

My stomach flipped and coiled in on itself.

If I could, I would swim back to England at this moment or better yet—drown.


	3. Yuki

**SEE! Just like I promised; A LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG CHAPTER!  
Thank you guys so much who reviewedXD  
**

**Also just to let you know this is Yuki's pov. **

_**Bold and Italic for song **_

**Bold and line for video title.**

_Italic for the past  
_

**Bold for my character CEL (Hope like her or later on)  
**

**Enjoy~ The song in here is the cup song! Though in here its played with the guitar:l  
**

* * *

Lust and fear are such vulgar emotion that blinds a person, shakes them to the core before leaving them broken by their own hands.

I already knew after hurting Shuichi so many times yet he always came back to me. Not this time though. This time I pushed him too far over the edge that he couldn't climb back up. The sad part is I knew why I cheated.

I was afraid.

Shuichi was the only person to put up with me and stick to me through everything. He loved me for me and didn't ask or expect anything in return.

But he was drifting away.  
I could tell.

My brat was still the annoying bubbly baka that chatted my ears off everyday since living with him but he was becoming different. I know he thought I couldn't tell the difference or wouldn't notice but I did.

I noticed when those jewels amethyst became distant with thoughts that would make him cease bugging me for attention. I noticed the way he would jolt awake at some nights sweating and looking down at me with a look I hardly see itched on his flawless face. I noticed later on the efforts he would put into his smiles and giggles and voice.

He sounded fearful.  
Worn out.  
Drained.

It scared me thinking 'what could be making him act this way?' then it came to me. 'Was he afraid of me? Does he still love me? Did-did he find someone else to fall in love with?' or 'What if he's thinking on leaving me?'

All these thoughts were driving me up a wall!

I didn't want to get hurt again.  
I rather be the one to hurt than get hurt again.

That was why I did it.

Called Nakano.  
Had him come over.  
Then fucked him.

_I heard the front door swing open and right away in the middle of this sinful crime I wanted nothing more than to take everything back. Jump off Nakano and run to my Shu for forgiveness but I didn't._

_As always I forced myself to ignore the redness of guilt and strengthen the ice walls of my barriers._

_Not a second too soon the bedroom door broke off its hinges and the look on my poor Shu chan's face…_

_Fear_  
_Confusion_  
_Brief disbelief_  
_Understanding_  
_Then absolutely nothing._

_Nothing was left in those violet eyes I came to love so much. They stared at us, at me, duly, voidly. It was like looking at someone I could not recognize and at that moment that scared me more than my first fear and gasp the mistake I had done._

_"Shu…" My mouth became dry as my throat tightened up trying to suffocate me._

_"Shuichi" Nakano paled from us being caught in this trap, my trap._

_My baby said nothing._

_He just stood there at the entrance of our bedroom door staring making my heart race._

_Then he took a step towards us._

_Involuntarily I flinched back in unknown fear as he did so._

_Watching with owl eyes as his tiny form came to the foot of the bed then dropped down only to come back up with a suitcase._

_"Shuichi?" The acid in my belly churned as he went in our closet packed what he had then walked out the room._

_Right away Nakano and I shot off the disgusting bed where our revolting act was done in and went after the pinkette calling after him to stop, to look at me, to open his mouth and speak. It wasn't like him to stay silent and not cry or lash out and beg me why I cheated._

_"Shu" I pleaded, yes I was the one that pleaded for him, my sanity, my angel, to not leave me. But he went deaf to my voice and walked out to fly away._

_Yes._

_Shuichi Shindou._

_My heart and soul_

_The one that brought me back to the land of the living_

_My brat…walked out on me and left me behind to the darkness._

I wonder everyday since then if he knew just how huge the chunk of me he took and replaced himself with was because after that fallout he became quite...cynical.

He became someone like me.

*Ring Ring*

The shrilling of the house phone snapped me out of my thoughts annoying me. Growling at the damn thing which has been going off since the morning I got up from my desk and went to the stupid device.

Don't people fucking understand I don't want to socialize?

I don't give a fuck if they are my family or the fucking CIA or god sake!

I stood by the thing listening to my answering machine answer the call for me and tell them to hurry up and leave a message then go kill themselves.

"Aniki!" Great...its my damn clown of a brother. Well for a second I thought it was going to be Mika again screaming my head off for god knows what. For the last two years I've been supposedly driving that crazed woman up a wall.

"I know you're there aniki." so? "Come to NG; Tohma has something to tell us. It's about Shuichi!" He rushes the last part.

What?!

Instantly I pick the suddenly important device thinking that of this is about my brat then I must know what was wrong or happening to him. "What happened? Tashua?" The bastard already hung up on me.

Fine.

Guess I'll be spending this fine damn day confronting my brother-in-law for answers.

I need a cigarette.

With my skilled (reckless) driving I managed to make it to NG under four minutes which left me not a minute later to run in and up to my measly brother-in-law's office.

"I'm glad you could join us Eiri." A mask of a smile greets me as well as 12 pairs of eyes around the room.

I noted the occupants were all tense and disheveled like they hurried here as well. I hated it. It made my stomach drop like this was a bad omen.

My eyes met Nakano from across the room but we avoided one another like the plague, still ashamed at what we committed.

"What is this about Tohma?" I growled wanting to get straight to the point. Tohma's the devil and said devil says nothing but turns his computer towards us all.

"Just thought you all would want to see a lost friend."

On the screen a video waiting to be played blared out on youtube. The title read **Shu-chan's sparkly 20 birthday!** With a heart on each side.

My irises must have bugged out so much I felt as though they would drop out my skull.

I completely forgot Shu's birthday is today.

Hold on; why was this posted yesterday?

"Play it." I commanded glaring thought Tohma as always remained unfazed by it. At least he played the video either way.

"Na no da~" Why the hell is that bunny loving old man on the screen?! "Hello people! Me and Kumagoro are here to share with you all Shu chan's birthday. We're going to make him sparkly today!" The guy was wearing his bunny overalls costume and holding the damn camera to the mirror in some bathroom so we could see him and his damn stuff bunny.

I felt a headache coming on just from looking at him.

"Right now we're in the building where Shuichi works so we must stay very very quiet until he finishes na no da~ kay?" He holds a pawed finger to his lips and giggles then walks out the restroom.

He's walking down some hallway until he gets to a faded powder blue door with a gold sign that states 'Studio 4'.

Very quietly the old geezer walks in and OH MY GOD!

Is that really Shuichi?

He looks...different.

His hair is long, very long, and put up in a ponytail with pins to keep most of his bangs out of his face. It's still pink. The clothes he's wearing are sort of baggy. Plain black shorts that goes over the knees and a plaid blue and gray shirt with a black vest over it. Simple.

Too simple for him and it made him seem mature.

He also looked like he lost too much weight even for his already anorexic self. But it also just made him more curvy than what he was when we first met.

He was sitting on a stool in front of a girl with a guitar in hand. The girl had some sort of reddish auburn hair and seemed to be emo but bright. Her face was contorted in something of awe and frustration.

"I can't do it!" She squeaked in English pouting "You're better at it why can't you sing it?"

Smiling slightly with his eyes closed Shuichi just said in perfect English "Because it's your song" matter of factly like it was the dumbest question he'd ever heard. I never knew he spoke English so fluently. I thought he was too much of an idiot to even know the language.

Plucking the strings on the guitar he nudged her. "Come on one more time. I'll sing it with you how about that?" Setting a soft melody he began.

_**"I got my ticket for the long way round  
Two bottles of whiskey for the way  
And I sure would like some sweet company  
And I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say"**_

His voice has gotten beyond better since we were together. It was a sin in itself how beautiful it was. He nudged the girl again coaxing her softly to sing along with him. I was beginning to feel jealousy of the girl for being able to be touched my my love.

I miss his touch.

Together they both sang the song.

_**"When I'm gone  
When I'm gone  
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone  
You're gonna miss me by my hair  
You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh  
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone**_

_**When I'm gone  
When I'm gone  
**_

_**You're gonna miss me when I'm gone  
You're gonna miss me by my walk  
You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh  
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone"**_

Inside I could not help but see this song for us. How he left me and how dyingly starved I was of him. I miss him like a child misses home or a dog who misses his owner.

**_"I got my ticket for the long way round  
The one with the prettiest of views  
It's got mountains  
It's got rivers  
It's got sights to give you shivers  
But it sure would be prettier with you_**

**_When I'm gone  
When I'm gone_**

**_You're gonna miss me when I'm gone  
You're gonna miss me by my walk  
You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh  
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone"_**

Did he think these things when he went on that plane and left me?

Was he as torn as I was?

Does he miss me like I do him?

**_"When I'm gone  
When I'm gone  
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone  
You're gonna miss me by my hair  
You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh  
Oh you're sure gonna miss me when I'm gone_**

**_When I'm gone  
When I'm gone_**

**_You're gonna miss me when I'm gone  
You're gonna miss me by my walk  
You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh  
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone"_**

"See?" My baka's voice drift out like silk, as sweet as honey when it slicks down your throat. "Got the hang of it now?"

"Yes I do do!" The girl cheered. Her voice annoys me. "Thank you shuichi! Your such a great tutor!"

Chuckling Shuichi stands still not noticing the camera and walks to the other side of the studio room setting the guitar on a stand by a window. He then gives the copper haired girl some instructions.

"Glad I can help. Another thing; after singing make some tear and put lemon or some honey in it so it can soothe your throat and it'll prevent strep throat ok? We don't want you losing your voice now do we?"

"Nope!" She looked as though she wanted to say something else but was cut off as the idiot holding the camera jumped from the door on my baka.

"Shuichi!" The giggling man squealed like a child. "You were so sparkly! Why don't you sing like that all the time now? Why? Kumagoro and me miss you on stage!"

Blinking for a sec the old man's hug victim begins "We talked about this Ryu-why do you have a camera?"

"You're birthday silly!"

Eyes wide as saucers, the baka tilts his head to the side before pushing the crazed older singer off of him. All his hair comes undone from the rubber band it was held in. It fell over and beyond his shoulders curling nicely on the floor as he sat.

"Ryu my birthday isn't until tomorrow."

At this the man giggles poking Shuichi on the nose. "Silly shu chan! We're celebrating early and I'm going to record it!"

We see him getting up and drag Shuichi off the floor and out the studio. The rest if the video is of them going to different places and messing around with people or things. They even got pulled over by some cops but got the cops to join in the video with them.

It was amusing but something was off.

Shuichi wasn't as hyper as I remembered him being.

My baka was...mature.

Those are two things I would have never thought I would use in the same sentence. My baka and mature.

It's like looking at some alternate doppelganger.

When it ended all of us looked back at Tohma who was still smiling away at our shock faces.

"What was the point of this?" Someone, don't care who, shouted.

The cunny smile of the devil grew "You all heard his voice correct?" Nod "And how it grew more potential than when he first started out right?" Another nod. "The point is this; Shindou kun is better than what he started with, not only that but looking at his new files from England, he has majored in some pretty amazing things. From singing to directing music videos and managing different singers while giving singing lessons and choreographing for some big companies."

Emerald eyes eye us up hoping we catch his drift to where he's heading with this.

We were but didn't want to say anything.

So we wait for him to sigh then continue "He has become quite valuable. Many companies huge such as myself are chasing him down to get him to sign with them. Getting to him first hopefully he'll come back to Japan and agree to become a singer again. With his voice and talents it'll be a great profit for NG."

Sick bastard.

Always the manipulative master mind.

"What if he doesn't agree to come back or sign?" That kid Fujisaki asks "We all know what happened two years ago and how the idiot lost it! I wouldn't want to come back to Japan if I were him and that happened to me." He looks at Nakano to me.

Little shit.

He's lucky people are in this room or else.

"That's no problem at all."

"HUH?!" We stare at Tohma.

"He's coming back and will be here in two weeks from now. I already spoke with him and negotiated for him to help some of our bands with their music and dancing."

"He's moving back?" Nakano asks with a hopeful look in his eyes.

Frowning slightly Tohma shakes his head. "I'm afraid not. He's only coming here for two months then heading back to Britain. His services are only temporary since his job jumps from company to company." And there goes Nakano's and mines hope to reconcile things.

But there's more to it than that.

I'll make a mental note to find out what he's hiding.

"Another thing would be his health."

Hah?

"What do you mean his health" I cut in now. "Is he sick or something?" Dying from some disease we never knew about? What dammit what?

"No Eiri. He's been taking therapy sessions from what...happened. Anyways, his therapist-"

**"Will be here until it's time for her sweet patient to return to Great Brit where all his stress are not to follow."** The new voice scares the shit out of me but I don't show it.

Some brat looking tomboy sits on the loveseat behind all of us where we didn't even know she was their. She had shaggy crazy wavy hair shoulder length that was a dark almost blackish brown. She wore black punk pants with chains on them and a plain black Tee with a black jean jacket. Her eyes were different colors.

One brown and the other a lavender.

"This is Miss Cel everybody." Tohma introduces us "She is Shindou kun's psychiatrist and came here early to view us and continue sessions with Shindou kun once he gets here. Be polite and treat her kindly."

We are sent away from there.

As I'm walking away Tohma calls me back.

"Eiri."

"What?" This day has drained me more than I would like to believe. Seeing Shuichi and how different he seemed in that video. Learning he's taking friggin therapy and is more talented than I would believe. It just too surreal.

"He's arriving two weeks from now on a Monday in the afternoon. I will pick you up by then."

My first thought is to retort and tell him I don't give a damn but that would be a lie. I want to go and see Shu. So I say nothing and leave back home for a sleepless night thinking about my baka.

Are you worrying about seeing me too Shu?

* * *

**I hoped you enjoyed and if the languages confused you because they weren't in italics or something just tell me so next time I put the english in bold or something ok!**

**Also I want to try doing omake:D**

**They just seem so fun:3 **

**ME; Right guys? *turns to stare at Yuki tired to a chair***

**Yuki; WHAT THE HELL CRAZY BITCH?!**

**ME; *eye twitches* What you say O.e **

**Yuki; ... O.O**

**Me; That's what I though prick *forces him to watch reruns of Hanna Montana* **

**Yuki; OH GOD NO! **

**Shu; Is it wrong I'm taking pleasure from Yuki's cries? **

**Me; NO! *evil laughs***

**Til next time~**


	4. Pick up

**Omake~**

**Shuichi: Thank you again who are continuing this story! Also if you guys are confused at the end or during or whatever in this chapter then Neko says it will all be cleared as the story continues. She will not apologize or promise anything unless necessary SOGETTHATTHROUGHOK! *Coughs* Pardon me, i forgot my medicine in Tohma's limo *runs away***

**Yuki: WHAT THE FUCK I AM STILL TIED TO THIS FUCKING CHAIR BITCH!**

**ME: *smirks* Read the next lines Yuki and then maybe i will let you go. *Smiles sweetly***

**Yuki: *mumbles 'stupid neko cunt'* Nekocandy owns nothing but Cel and this bitch reading this disclaimer. *eye twitches* YOU...**

**ME: *takes out knife* I'll cut you e_e**

**Yuki: O.O...*goes back to reading* not really, He's just being used as my bitch until this story is complete. Until then please enjoy while I laugh my but off at making Yuki watch all of the seasons of Zatch Bell with me-OHGODNO! *Struggles in chair* Never you psycho! Get me out of here! **

**ME: As for the POVS IT is 1) Yuki's Pov, 2) Shuichi's Pov, and 3) Mika! (I just wanted to do her a Pov for some reason:3 Enjoy! *Drags Yuki away now*  
**

* * *

My stomach jumps while spinning as I watch the plane land. Nerves scream for more nicotine to calm them down but I just finished my last pack.

Dammit.

I feel so cramped in this crowd.

So many bodies are getting squashed up against me.

I shudder at it all.

**"Plane 105 has now landed. I repeat: plane 105 has now landed." **

Thank god!

From behind me Tohma pats me on the back as well as he could since he's shorter than me. "Ready Eiri san?" I know he worries for me but geez! I swear it's beyond annoying!

"The sooner, the faster I'll get out of this crowd." I retort matter-of-factly.

The door to the landed plane opens and the crowd that are gathered here goes wild as they all, like me, wait for the long lost bubbly singer to prance out.

Anticipation eats away at me as I'm forced to watch passenger after passenger get off the damn plane but none of which are my ex.

Where is he?!

My heart plummets as the last passenger gets off and the telecom lady wishes us a nice day. Around me an angry mob is beginning to form.

"Where is he?!" girls and some guys yell, others soon follow and then the whole airport goes up in smoke chanting for the idiot….just like my heart. But I bury that in my anger as always.

"Did the idiot forget to get on the plane?" mumbling pink catches my eyes.

Weaseling pass the crowd, two people are wearing caps and baggy coats looking awfully suspicious. I can't see their faces with their sunglasses on like me but I catch a strand of pink sticking out like a sore dumb from under the cap.

"Tohma" I point to the direction of the two before we nod and walk after them.

We're pretty close enough for me to grab his should until—

"Shu shu!" a blur tackles my pinkette to the floor. My heart races in fear that the fangirls have noticed him too as long lush pink hair breaks out of the cap as his small form get sprawled out.

I growl realizing it's just that freak Cel or whatever its name is that tackled my property to the ground. Dammit Tohma told it to stay in the limo!

"Shu shu love~" she's jumping on his chest laughing in delight. "How are you? How's it been? I haven't seen you in so long Shu!"

Honestly how old are you?

My eye twitches at her familiarity towards my Shuichi and her over touchy-ness makes me want to yank her away and throw her in a fire.

"Cel…" Shuichi's musical voice rasps "Need…air!" they get up but she still clings to him like a child to her mother.

My god Shuichi looks so-so…so mature now. He's still short with stupid pink hair and that same baby face but he's…how do you say…his aura is different I guess. That and he got skinnier.

"Shindou kun" Tohma addresses professionally as always eyeing the young kid with a...certain gaze. Prick.

"Seguchi" Shu shoots back not bowing. He nods to me in acknowledgement but doesn't speak to me. It hurts me seeing him with such a schooled expression as me.

Heh.  
I'm never thought I'll see him being so composed and unchildish. He's the type to wear his heart permently sewed on the outside of his shirt where reading him is as easy as breathing.

What in god's name happened to him?

* * *

I…should have expected this much from non-other than Tohma Seguchi. He is, after all, Yuki's loyal lap dog ready to carry out his master's orders in a heat beat.

Huh?  
Does he even realize that yet I wonder?

"Shindou kun" professional as always Mr. high and mighty looking down on me as if I'm an alien. Prick.

"Seguchi" I don't bow back still bristling for falling for his tricks. Well that and Cel is still clinging to my waste like a snake to a tree hurting me bit.

I see Yuki and silently curse Ryuichi. So much for I won't run into Yuki over here: wishful thinking as always.

It hurts to see him again; it really does, especially with that same schooled 'I don't give a shit' expression as me. heh, we were, still am, always alike in lots of ways. He just never saw the similarity between us and that's how I wanted it.

"Shu my sweet impeccable bird!" Over dramatic Cel. Ah I envy her for that. "You're so bony! Have you been eating or have you been neglecting it as always?" now she's yelling at me.

"Um…"

"Answer me!" rolling my eyes at her overprotectiveness (not really. I know what she's trying to do. She's trying to give the two watching us hints on what some of my problems are.) I remove from me and sigh audible. I don't feel like playing the idiot at this time with my jet leg kicking in.

"It's only been two weeks Cel not that long old hag. I've been busy getting things done in Britain before I started this job here. I'm not going to croak anytime soon."

"Did you take your medication at least?"

"I'm calm aren't I?"

"Are you?"

"Touché" we chuckle at that.

Cel maybe a pain at times but I'm glad she's here. When I first met her I didn't honestly know what to expect from her what with her shorter stature and crazy rocker look. But she turned out to be a very good person who goes to the extreme for people and does her job right. Oh but she does get scary when ticked off to the point that she makes K and his guns look like child play!

You don't want to know what she's capable of.

Shuddering at the memories Ryuichi jumps Tohma asking him "What are you doing here Tohma?" he clings to the president squealing brightly "We're not supposed to see meet you until tomorrow silly!"

The president of NG just smiles at his longtime friend antics while Yuki on the other hand I can see wants to strangle the older singer. Lucky for him (and Ryuichi) Tohma sees this as well and cuts Ryuichi off mid ramble.

"Yes well we came to pick you both up so you don't have to get mugged by fans. They've been missing you two for a long time now. The limo is outside waiting."

He stares at me searching for any signs of bolting away as I always use to do but I shrug caring then not. "That's so nice~" my stupid persona comes back for a bit just to please them.

But me?  
I inwardly smirk at their faces when they witnessed my sudden switch of personalities before turning away from them to skip outside humming with Cel.

The limo was literally in the front of the airport. Inside of it I was caught off guard once again dammit. In one corner of the automobile, hunched in on himself like a frightened dog, was Hiroshi Nakano. Once known as Hiro but he lost that title two years ago when he betrayed me.

On the other side of the limo closer to the door was Fujisake looking as stern as ever. It's like a stick is constantly up his ass or something damn! I understand when he would always get angry or something but at least I still smiled or something!

Even now I learned to take pleasure with pain.  
Cheer up pal!

He just nods, Hiroshi tries talking but fails miserably, and I just get in and sit comfily on the far off side of them both with Cel at my side.

On the other end to the this long limo I am shocked to see Mika here.  
She got fat.

No…not fat…

"Shuichi" her voice scares me a bit. It's not the usual 'I hate you little punk' tone. More like a tone an aunt would use when she gives you candy or that creepily sweet old lady voice. The one from Hansel and Gretel that lured them to their doom only in the grim stories she was the one cooked and eaten for dinner.

Ah~  
What a great story I can read any day!

"You look thinner" I so badly want to say how fat she's gotten but I don't feel like getting bitched at so early in arriving.

"And you look so…" Think of something here! "Glowing." Technically true since it does look like she's glowing.

I wince as she barks out a laugh "Why thank you! I am glowing actually. I am eight months pregnant after all!"

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!?

Her pregnant?!

"…WOW…" I can't picture her with kids or like this. "Pregnant?"

She hums in reply.

"Wow" is all I can say again.

"Wow is right" I jump at the sudden voice forgetting he was here as well Tohma. Yuki looks at me intensely and I can feel that all too familiar panicking in my stomach at the fiery gold eyes.

At the same time the dream I had on the plane flashes through my mind and queasiness threatens to erupt. That's the true reason I haven't eaten anything much these past two weeks. I want to throw it all up.

I'm thankful as Tohma's voice interrupts the stare given to me.

"Shindou kun, are you hungry? We can eat at some diner if you want and you can catch up with your friends." No!

Him and Mika gives each other a sideways glance telling one another a message I can't read. He smiles at me with that perfect masked smile again. "Well?"

Yuki and everyone else look at me pleadingly.

"No thank you Seguchi san." Awe I made them all sad. Suck it up. "I'm rather tired and plus I planned on seeing my mother when I got here."

Something flashes in his green eyes "If you like she can come too—"

"No!" That blurts out unintentionally and quickly I cover it up. "Sorry for the outburst it's just I want to see her by myself. I haven't called her once in two years since…" I can't finish that sentence.

It's all still too fresh.

"I want to see how she's doing and hang out with her you know? Just the two of us for a day." Because I'm all she has left like she's all I have left. "Maybe some other time?"

Mika has a certain disappointed look but Tohma shows nothing at all with his flawless smile. "Understandable, another time then. Would you like us to drop you off?"

"Ummm no thanks!" My smile is just as perfectly flawless as his "You can just drop me off right here at the bus stop and I'll get to her house like that. See you tomorrow!"

I jump out and wave before running to the newly arrived bus and getting on. My heart leaps everywhere as I see them drive away. Through the window Yuki is looking back at me, his face as emotionless as ever but I can see the emotions bottled up in his eyes.

I'm not blind.  
He's hurting like I am.

I don't want him to hurt but with me he's always going to just as I'm always getting hurt with him. That and _**he**_is still out there waiting for me.

Looking out the window readily dozing off, a glimpse of a figure standing behind me jolts me awake. Turning around in my seat frantically, the figure is gone. I'm the only one out of five on this bus but I could swear _he _was standing right behind me.

Taking a shaky breath I slump in my seat telling myself to take it easy and that it must be my imagination.

Digging though my pockets I groan.  
Dammit! Where's my medicine when I need it?

* * *

I'm cursing up a storm at Tohma for his stupidity.

He should have told Shuichi!

The kid deserves to know with how his life was!

Stupid Tohma!

On the spot where the pink child was sitting a while ago, a tiny medicine bottle lay innocently. "What's that?" I point to it getting everybody's attention.

Cel picks it up casually shrugging "The idiot forgot his medicine again." She laughs "Oh well I hope he likes being hyper without it."

"What you mean?" My brother Yuki finally speaks "What is that medicine for?"

Only Tohma knew Shuichi's problems but I had yet to find out like the rest so when Cel said "Shu shu's hyperactive disorder" like it was nothing we all freaked! "He needs this to bring it down a bit and be calm."

So that is why the kid always jumped around like he had ants in his pants back then.

Cel smiles at our reactions "You know that's exactly how Shu reacted when he first found out about his disorder too! Only he flipped the table in my desk screaming I was a liar before accepting the truth."

Our eyes bug out at her.

Giggling her grin turns a complete 180 into a cold smirk.

"You people truly have no idea who Shuichi's really is do you?"

What does she mean by that?

* * *

**Yuki: GOD DAMMIT HELP ME SOMEBODY!**

**ME: *looks away from watching Zatch Bell* Thank you for reading and please review to give me feedback or if you want a good rant! I love rants, they make me laugh, just nothing to mean though ne? And if you have any questions feel free to ask me and i'll be glad to answer them! **

**Shuichi: BACK!**

**Me: OH Shu shu! Find you medicine? **

**Shuichi: No -_- *breaks down* **

**ME: ...want some pocky *holds out box* **

**Shuichi: YEA! *takes them all***

**ME: Q.Q B-but those ar-are mine...*runs away crying***


	5. Tell me Shuichi

**Omake~**

**Me; *Emo corner* Oh hey again *sniffles* Welcome back to another chapter of Yell into the sky...UWAAAAAAH! WHY SHU?! WHY YOU HAVE TO TAKE ALL MEH POCKY!**

**Shuichi; O_O...*continues eating them***

**Me; (/TT^TT)/ The horror!**

**Yuki; GET ME OUT THIS DAMN CHAIR!**

**Me; SHUT UP! *Throws Yuki still tied to the chair out a random window* YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE PAIN OF HAVING YOUR LAST BOX OF POCKY BEING EATEN BY ANOTHER PERSON!**

**Shuichi; Neko san *Squeaks when I turn around* Um...just wondering but...when are you going to speed things up and get the plot in motion? Our audience must be pretty pissed that you're dragging this thing without giving MAJOR clues or something to freak out about. **

**Me; Hmm...your right about that e.e WELL! Shall we change that mister I KNOW EVERYTHING! God; why the hell did i decide to give you a brain in this again?**

**Shuichi; e_e **

**Yuki; Stupid neko bitch throwing me out a damn window! You two just shut the hell up and give these people the chapter so we can be done with this shit and Shu can go back to being the dumbass he is-_-**

**Me and Shuichi; *Glares* Fine! People of gravitaion~ ENJOY!**

* * *

When was the last time I allowed my facade to drop, to let others see beyond the walls i've housed myself in since that time?

Much too long in my opinion but it's all worth it if the results are I won't be hurt.

It is easier playing the joker in the kingdom of cards.

You'll be the one standing in the end when all others are wiped from the battlefield of life.

Sure the expectations build and the act gets dull, but i've came to learn as the years go on that it's not "As the years go by the more the real you begins to fade."

It's not.

It is really like this: "As the years go on the more the real you begins pushing back for dominance."

It's a headache per say.

I did not leave the past behind just for it to push my present aside but that's what is happening as I'm heading to NG. It would have been easier if it were only I walking to the job but no, Tohma thought it was best to pick me up from my mother's house.

Well she got an apartment now because she couldn't handle being in the house anymore after Maiko. Don't blame her, I left the damn country after all that went down!

Poor thing nearly died of a heart attack when K brought his favorite gun to my head! Seeing her ready to croak on the spot, my old self resurfaced...it didn't turn out so well lets just put it that way and leave it.

And since that little scene I can feel all three gazed of Tohma, K, and Yuki on me; looking for any cracks in my disguise of smiles and hums. They don't know that I see their questions building in their eyes. Yuki as well.

He came to see me which is funny if I think about it now because when we were together I use to BEG the bastard to come with me on my tours or concerts every single time and now look at us!

The shoe is on the other foot.

nice!

Wonder if he likes the taste of his own douche medicine...SPEAKING OF MEDICINE!

I friggin lost mine yesterday and I couldn't settle down since! I still can't sit still and it's unnerving how my left leg will not stop bouncing up and down! How the heck I lived like this for twenty years is beyond me.

Oh yeah, right-I never questioned it until two years ago.

"Can you cut it out geez!" Wish I could you ass!

"Sorry?" I give Yuki the old dumb face and he returns it with his old glare growling like a rabid beast at me.

"Quit with the leg bouncing idiot! I swear you could become the new +AAA energy bunny with how ADHD you are!"

My leg freezes in mid bounce at the statement as my flawless grin tunes down a couple notches but doesn't disappear as I read in between the lines of Yuki's insult. And fuck I left my medicine in the here yesterday which means they found it.

Shit, urg whatever.

Tilting my head to the side I stick out my hand opening my palm to all three men. "One of you wouldn't happen to have found a medicine bottle would you?" My bouncing continues as I stare at them innocently and of course YUKI would have it! Double shit as he hands me the bottle making our hands brush slightly, his lingering more than necessary.

"Idiot" When we were together...I came to terms that, that was his nickname for 'love' to me. That and brat but I never called him out on it and I think I never will.

"Thanks" Locking it all in my grin returns to full size and I pop two pills in my mouth like they are candy that makes me feel much better which they do by the way. "So" My attention narrows at Tohma and K "What bands will I be assisting today?"

It's rare Tohma came to pick me up for a second time. He usually just sends his goon K to do the job and sits in his office or go with his band. Must be to give Yuki and excuse to be here in case I ask; like I would.

I'm just now noticing the blonde talking.

"I'm sorry? What was that I was out of it for a bit."

He doesn't twitch.

Use to my 'idiocy' I guess.

"Your previous band BAD LUCK is the band you will be pushing to become great again. The_present singer is in dying need of training to put simple and the lyrics as well. A concert is scheduled for next week Saturday and they are desperately trying to get things done."

Hehehe they found another singer to replace me?

Poor sucker.

May the fame gods up in their heavens be merciful on you.

"Names?" I decide to drop my silly voice and go straight into my professional voice. See Seguchi san? I'm a hell of an actor too only I do not fake professional unlike you.

He's stunned silent for a good, I would say, twenty minutes until finally composing himself. "Tsuki Myukushi."

K hands me a baby blue folder being cautious in a way. Come on man! The incident wasn't THAT bad!

Inside the folder which has a picture of Tsuki san. After scanning the portfolio and checking the music chart I whistle in astonishment. "Wow~I know you said they're in need of help but I had no idea they were this low in the business. Are they not even trying to grow?!"

They must suck!

Now even close to the top twenty no less thirty!

The band is barely holding on...and that make me chuckle to myself "I don't know weather to be angered with this or amused."

"Um...Shindou kun?"

"Huh?" All three men are growing more uncomfortable with me. I curse silently but giggle outwardly "Sorry the medicine makes me a bit...err hehe." My phone goes off suddenly making me squeak out a bit.

Slowly I pull it out being paranoid by it until I peek at the number and sigh relieved as heck.

"Yes my little man?" I answer sweetly to my favorite little boy in the whole world. As the tiny voice screeches lovingly out 'Mama' I can't hold my smile back. "Yes Riku?"

Yuki stares wide eyed at me like yesterday and just like yesterday I avoid his expressions as Riku gushes at me.

**"Can I come over for my break? Please Mama!"** My eyes genuinely softens in apology.

"Awe I'm sorry Riku but I'm not in Britain at the moment."

**"Eh?!" **I can hear him sniffling **"Then Wh-where are you?" **gawd! His gotten so sad and cute!

He's too innocent for words.

"I'm doing a job here in Japan but-"

**"YOU MOVING BACK!?"** Hope is in his small voice **"Are you going to be with Yuki papa again?"**

AHHHH!

"No no no! Riku!" I cut the child off a bit guiltily "I'm only staying for two months then heading back to England nothing more."

**"Oh..."** more sniffling that makes my heart crack with guilt.

Riku grew attached to Yuki and me to the point we became parents in the kids mind thus came the nick name 'mama'. It hurt me when he became devastated when I left Yuki.

**"Can I visit you in Japan then mama?"**

Oh god, I can picture his puppy eyes already pleading me to surrender.

Haaah... "Sure if you aunt-" That bitch; she never liked me one bit or wants to be responsible for Riku. "Lets you kay?"

**"A-and can we visit Yuki papa when I get there? Mama?"** Said papa stiffens as well as me. We look in each other eyes for a moment but I force myself to pull away but it wasn't enough force to prevent me from opening my mouth.

"If it's fine with him...we'll see what happens Riku." Why me?!

**"Yah~!"** Oh well as long as it makes my child happy.

My child... **"And can we I get pocky once I'm there as well?"**

My laugh nearly breaks the windows in the limo "Of course! You don't need to ask, we both can!" Matter of fact I've been dying for strawberry pocky as well! Hey not EVERYTHING about my second persona is fake.

I do love simple things like pocky, especially pocky!

It's like a comfort snack; that and a placebo for smoking.

"Just tell me when you arrive and I'll pick you up."

**"Hai! Arigato Mama love you!" **what a nice tittle much worthy than I am.

"Bye" Clicking the phone off I let out a sigh with thoughts reverting way back when I learned what a 'mama' truly was. A nice tittle indeed.

I'd like to live up to it even though I'm a man.

"You still keep in touch with Riku?" I blink coming back from the present.

"Huh? Oh yeah well he calls and comes to Britain from America whenever he's on break or something. His aunt kept giving him my numbers each time I changed them and I can't really say no to seeing me since the kid sort of grew on me you know?"

He nods "Very well yes" eyeing me again making me ponder for a flitting moment what he means with those words.

Does he mean it the way the way I do or does he mean it I grew on him when we first started out?

Before I realize it I am staring at him for the rest of the ride to NG.

He doesn't tell me to stop.

I don't tell me to stop.

Nor does the other two tell me stop.

It's not when K goes "We're here" that I do stop staring and get out the limo.

My phone rings again probable Riku again to tell me pinky promise. "Yes Riku?"

Static then…a voice…HIS voice.

_**"****Welcome home my kitten" **_

"Shindou kun?" My head whips back and forth for HIM.

I changed my number so many times how did he get this one in one day no less!? After two year—how?!

"Yo Shuichi!" a bullet grazes my hand that is still clenching the phone. Sweat was forming on my palms as my hand tightened to the point of pain but I couldn't bring myself to put it down.

My body went in a joint lock with itself.

"Idiot, what's up with you? You're pale all the sudden." My stomach wants to explode. "Oi!" Yuki reached for me but I got my body to unlock itself and pulled back.

"I'm going in now" I left them standing outside but asked Tohma quickly "Same studio I'm guessing?"

"Yes"

"Gotcha!" just hurry up and get inside!

Footsteps were behind me making me freak and run faster. Not one of my best ideas since a rug happened to be where I ran and I tripped on it.

"Brat!" His eyes were drilling holes. "Clumsy as ever you twerp, here" I didn't take his hand. I don't trust myself to make contact with him or be touched by anyone. "Who was that on the phone Shu?"

"Shuichi!" Mika came from the other side of the lobby cutting Yuki off. Well she more liked waddled from the other side of the lobby cutting Yuki off.

A bit of anxiousness crept in me as I watched how she struggled on swollen ankles trying not to do a face plant to the ground. Yikes!

Huh…imagine giving birth in a lobby because you fell from walking across it while you're nine months pregnant. Double yikes.

Tohma and K were here by the time Mika was in front of me.

K went to assist her but stopped when she held a hand up like one of those queens. There was fire in her eyes as she was looking over me and Tohma side by side. "Uncanny"

Huh?

"Mika" Boss man smiles "What are you doing here? You should be resting off your feet love."

"No" That fire blared "I came to speak with Shuichi" now her fiery gaze turns to me.

Determination—

That's the intense fire in her eyes and I can't overlook it.

"Speak to me about what Mika san?" I help her to a nearby couch and she allowed me to.

I blush when she unexpectedly took my right hand and placed it on her swollen belly. Her little baby, so small and unborn, kicked my palm pressed against her tummy. It was tiny but strong, a heartbeat almost.

"I-it kicked me!" I was awed by the thing silly as it is, children always makes me wonder and smile a bit at the innocence they hold; something I never quiet had it seemed.

My eyes shot to Mika when I felt her hand caress my cheeks.

"It's amazing isn't it?" nod "Shu—who is your mother?"

Eh?

"What do you—" it strikes me faster than a speeding semi-truck but I laugh it off "You met my mother once Mika san don't you remember silly?" I take my hand away and precede to get off my knees when she clasps my hand again.

"Your REAL mother Shuichi not Ms. Shindou"

_Thump!_

No one knows about that.

No one is SUPPOSED to know about that.

Heck not even Tohma knows about tha—or does he?

I think…my lungs…dropped to my stomach and are melting into the acid as we speak.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I pull away hastily and scratch the back of my head "Ms. Shindou is my REAL mother Mika san. Why would you ask such silly things like that? Is the pregnancy getting to you? Do you need to lie down? Oh I know! Lets see if your baby wants pocky! Yeah-it must be craving pocky and Riku wants pocky when he comes over as well. I'll go get some Mika san how bout it!"

I go one for a solid hour before K loses it and picks me up over his shoulder to haul me off.

While still in ear shot Tohma was telling Mika about how I was late already for work and Yuki asking her what she meant by her questions.

I wanted to break out of K's hold that moment and run back to keep Mika's mouth shut.

Luckily Tohma did it for me and brought some guards to take her home before she could reply to her brother.

Relaxing a bit, it didn't last long for Mika turned back and shouted to me.

"Tell me Shuichi, do you know who your father is?"

* * *

**Omake~**

**Shuichi; Wow…What the hell did you alternate in my past?! **

**Me; You will see shu shu *Puts finger on lips* for now just let it happen man.**

**Yuki; Why don't I have that much dialect in this story?!**

**Me; -_- cause you a bitch!**

**Shuichi; Review and keep this story going also if you want to take any wild guesses at what my past was like go ahead! Next chapter things are about to hit the fan!**

**Me; REVIEW! REVIEW TO HELP ME GO ON IN LIFE! **

**:3 **


	6. It's alright my Kitten

**Me; Guys guess what!**

**Yuki; You finally learned you're a dude -_-**

**Me; EVEN BETTER!**

**Shuichi; You are going to make this a happy story and not fuck my life up anymore and end up killing one of us from your crazy ideas *looks hopeful* **

**Me; NO!**

**Shuichi; *Goes off to emo corner* QwQ I'm scared.**

**Me; My friend wrote a song, well the beginning of a song and I wrote the rest and asked her of I can use it for this story! She said yes!**

**Yuki; So?**

**Me; *rolls eyes* Baka Yuki; I'm using the part she wrote in this chapter and putting the rest in the next chapter for the concert:D**

**Yuki; Fine fine, whatever *Starts walking away* Zero talent you idiots have. Zero talent.**

**Me; Fine! YOU SUCK TOO FAT HEAD!**

* * *

I wasn't what people would call "normal" back then.

I was born premature due to my mother's…druggy days so the doctors are thought I would come out mentally challenged or die in the night but they were wrong. In fact I came out smarter than kids my own age and pretty healthy as well.

Some might think I should take pride in that but no. I saw it as nothing but a curse because Kids always picked on me for being what adults say "Prodigy".

I never asked to be that.

I never said "Hey god, when I'm born make me premature and a mutant with pink hair and violet eyes that is a freak and if you want to be a bit more generous make me a bastard child who mother hates him. Thank you and amen." Never asked that people.

I also never asked god or any other higher power to send me an abusive fuck for a step dad or his son for a brother.

Yes I had **A** father and brother once also.

**I hated them both.**

In fact I hated all three of my family bunch with such passion but those words never once left my lips.

Hating is wrong so I taught myself but it is hard not to feel that red poison when everyone around you hates you when all you want is to be important in someone's eyes and be kept safe. Not having to worry about someone out to get you.

Or people hating you for being plain old you then abandoning you in a second.

Bad luck.

That's all my life seems to be made of.

Nothing but a bunch of terrible bad luck.

Just remembering all the things people have put me through sickens me and makes me have the huge urge of killing myself repeatedly in the worse ways possible.

"Shu!" Hiroshi finally finds it in himself to speak to me once K throws me face first in the studio room.

"Bully!" I pout at the American before a shriek nearly breaks my ear drums.

Ow…

"Shuichi sama! It's really you oh my god!"

"Sama?" Some man with a black shirt with a rainbow picture of me on it (literally it had my picture from an old album on it in rainbow splatter design) ran up to me.

Tsuki if I remember correctly while taking a long good look at the guy in all his spazzed out glory.

Blue skinny jeans with the bad luck design shirt and chains, childish face, pale as hell but has soft light brown eyes, and taller than me and Hiroshi combined but shorter than Yuki. Let's not forget his hair; unkempt like mine is most of the time but very short and a curly rich brown with natural highlights.

Oh and he has snakebites piercings.

Despite the shirt he has decent taste in his attire but it's the voice I need to judge to decide the band's fate.

Out of friggin nowhere the guy throws himself at my feet and kisses my foot nearly scaring me out of my skin!

"Shuichi Sama! You're the one that will be helping us?"

Creep—be polite self and smile.

"Y-yes hello" I pull him up from the filthy ground. Yuck. "Segucci told me you all were having trouble and asked me to get you guys up to game level!" I had to plant myself in place when the creepy Tsuki hugs me.

"Thank you Shuichi Sama!" he lifts me off the floor as his hug tightens around my waist.

Sighing for patience I push him away "Stop please with the 'Sama' and let's begin. Sing for me."

_**"Goodbye blue sky**_

_**I won't be seeing you again.**_

_**The clouds are rolling in,**_

_**I guess this is the end of something**_

_**Beautiful." **_

Ah I am drained by this guy.

We got the lyrics down (thank you whoever is up there) and Tsuki has a voice he just needs to learn to use it without making my ears want to commit suicide.

This is our 20th recording.

"How was that Sama?" and again with the Sama!

"Don't call me that" it's stupid and reminds me of my family "We're working together for two months here Tsuki san, call me plain Shuichi."

His face lights up like a full over gaudy Christmas tree. "Really? Wow thank you Shuichi!"

Smile.

How much can one smile before his or her face gets glued that way permanently?

"Now about you singing" I tiptoe to flick him on the head "relax, you're too stiff and also don't suck in your breath and hold it in your stomach when singing. That does not help you." I demonstrate for him. "See? Doesn't sound good now do it?"

"Nope"

"Exactly; this is what you do but this is how you should be doing it." I touch the anatomy above his stomach but below his chest. "Right here is where your air should be held when singing and while singing release little sir as so to breath without huffing so much."

"L-like this?" a blush covers his face as he sings again.

"Yes like that but act like you are breathing air through a straw ok? It will make things more easier that way." Sing again "Perfect."

"You're a great teacher sensei!" so everybody tells me dude. "Well of course you are. You're a great singer yourself after all."

He leans into me cornering me into the wall behind me.

Personal space man!

Force laughing I flick him between the eyes when his face gets too close and giggle "Hey now, you're talented as well you only need to practice is all!" so please back the hell away from me!

"Yeah I guess you're right but I wish it were you still singing in this band, not me. Hey Shuichi…why did you quit Bad Luck?" he really is an informal dense person. Didn't he see the tabloids when I was forced out the band?

"I had problems to take care of" give nothing away.

"Like~?"

Placing a finger on my lips and winking I hush him "Personal~" I make it sound flirtatious before walking out the studio and down the halls to leave for the night.

Ryuichi gave me the address where we will be staying for these two months but his writing is—I have to decipher them or risk hotel searching in the night where who knows what kind of people are out and about. The elder singer couldn't come get me for some meeting reason.

My guess he wanted to visit Tashua for the day since those two lovers haven't been intimate since I came around. Poor them I am sorry for keeping them apart I am so I hope they see a lot of each other before we leave again.

I only pray they don't come to wherever we are staying at and do it in places I have to use like the bathroom, kitchen, or living room. The dining room as well; I don't want to eat where people had sex and left their goddamn semen there to get in the food.

In Britain once I caught Ryuichi masturbating in our dining room table while video chatting Tashua. I would not go anywhere near the damn table afterwards until we brought a new one and disinfected the entire room with everything in it.

So yeah I pray to lord oh mighty nothing like that ever happens again.

Aha!

I've deciphered the ancient Ryuichi (or Kumagoro) language! I don't have to sleep in some hotel where weirdos might be!

Thank you!

Now all I gotta do is— "Oof!" ouch…I bumped into somebody.

Looking up at the tall person I offer an apologetic smile and bow "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying much attention."

The voice that answers me back nearly kills me.

_**"****It's alright~ my Kitten"**_

* * *

**Shuichi; Kitten?! Why the heck am I being called that?**

**Me; You will see Shu shu! All things come to those who wait remember that:p**

**Shuichi; But what if I don't want to know at all!**

**Me; Then stop questioning me -_-**

**Shuichi; _*emo corner once more***

**Me; Sensitive as hell aren't we? *looks away* Anyways Yuki since Shu shu is being emo right now SAY THE ENDING MESSAGE! OR—ELSE. *Holds up knives and ropes and Rebecca Black Friday song* **

**Yuki; Dammit *sweatdrops* Song in story was brought to you by Nekocandy4life friend. The second part of it will be posted in next chapter but you guys need to review to give feedback in order to get the next chapter._. just do it do this crazy ass skank can stop torturing us and get on with the dramatic parts of the story. -_- **

**Me; :3 **


	7. I hate you self

**Me; Yah chapter 7!**

**Yuki; Idiot!**

**Me; Wh—what?! Why are you calling me names now you stupid excuse for a romance writer!**

**Yuki; Says the psychotic bitch who changed the summary of the story! At least I never change MY summaries! *bumps neko on head***

**Me; OW! *kicks Yuki in the balls* you like them apples now? **

**Yuki; O_x **

**Me; Aha! And to answer your question stupid blonde, I changed the summary because I wasn't pleased with the first one -_- the first one made me want to barf until my stomach came out so fuck you t(=_=t) **

**Yuki; *faints***

**Shuichi; Yuki! *runs over to him* What the hell happened before I came?!**

**Me; nothing *innocent eyes* by the way what happened to your face Shu shu?**

* * *

_Standing in front of the enormous luxurious cherry wood doors, a child gulped. Her long chocolate brown hair swayed in its little curls over her shoulders as she reached out and meekly opened the doors. _

_The creak resonated a bit making her pause for a moment afraid that her mother heard her presence. Not hearing any calls she continued opening the door and walked in._

_Looking around trying to avoid her parent, the young child skittered to go up to her room but stopped in her tracks once upon the staircase by a voice. _

_"Kitten is that you?" she didn't dare answer "Don't make me ask again Kitten." The voice hissed like a snake whipping itself at the child to bite her. _

_"Yes…mama." _

_Going to the voice, she found her mother sitting on one of the grand love couches in the living room drinking a glass of bourbon and smoking a cigarette. She quaked under her parent's stare, praying silently that her mother would not notice her missing contacts. _

_"Come here" she did "Look me in the eyes" reluctantly the girl obeyed that order as well._

_Her mother glared long and hard squinting twice before swearing under the breath which reeked. _

_"Where's your contacts Missy." It was not a question but it still demanded an answer._

_"I-I forgot them this morning…no one notice through ma—" a slap to the face cut her off. _

_"Ignorant little shit! How many times have I told you that I did not want people seeing what a freak you are! To keep your damn hair and eyes hidden! Stupid fuck and your stupid pink hair is beginning to show! Shit-" she sighed "Go upstairs. I'll send the maids up to re-dye your hair and get you more green contacts just get the hell out of my face before your father comes home."_

_"Yes mama."_

_"And don't call me mama!" this time she punched the small child in the stomach. "Go!"_

* * *

"So I see your doing fabulous for yourself Kitten. Who knew the world loved freaks such as yourself."

How did this bitch find me?!

"Your father would be so proud"

"Father?" I cut her off before she can open those ugly red lips again "What father? That MAN is NO father of mine and why are YOU here?"

Her brown eyes glared that same glare from when I was a kid. Her hair black up as always with two strands down in waves stayed in place as she brought a perfect pedicured nail to my cheek.

"Is that any way to speak to your mother Kitten?"

"YOU are not MY mother. Never been and never will." You don't and never did deserve that tittle you old hag. "Now answer me; what are you doing here evil spirit?" I held my fingers up in the form of a cross to emphasis the point of her being a demon.

And like when I was a kid she slapped me hard enough to bruise my cheek. Her nail long and finely sharpened cut the skin under my eye drawing a bit of blood.

Ouch stings.

Like old times huh; only this time I don't have to pretend to be a friggin girl.

But I am still hiding.

Guess that's something this demon woman seared in me for life. Hiding under a disguise; be it psychically or figuratively.

"You're still that stupid child as before. Just because you were taken out of my custody and put under my sister's does not mean I didn't give birth to you."

True but you lacked the love a mother should have for their child. All you had for me was hatred and shame.

"I should have aborted you when I could."

"Yes you should have" I retorted but secretly meaning exactly what I was saying. "Then I wouldn't have to live everyday hating myself for being your blood spawn."

"Why you little—"

"Shindou Kun?" we both turn our faces to the voice which I know very well.

Tohma stood with his car keys in hand; he was staring wide eyed in shock at the snake looming over me then at me then back at the snake.

He must have noticed the blood dripping from under my eye lid.

"Is anything wrong?"

Crap shit fuck!

Smile!

"Oh no nothi—"

"Tohma?" how does she know him?! "Oh so now I see why you became the famous singer you are now. All because of him" she points at my temporary boss "Connection is sweet huh?'

"What are you going on about?" I glare.

What nonsense is she talking NOW?

"You…you haven't figured it out after all these years?" she actually looks shocked but it passes her like her men "I'm surprised, you being a genus and all or has the years made you an idiot?"

"Keh!" damn her.

"Mimi" Tohma knows her too? "I believe I need to talk to you." His mask was falling a bit and through it I can see a tint of apprehension in those windows he has for eyes. Shocking!

"Why Tohma!" it feigns dramatic swoon "After all these years! What would your 'wife' say about us?" god her laughs annoy me!

"You know what I mean Mimi" he turns to me "Shindou Kun you should get going it's late, please be safe on your way home."

What home?

Whatever.

"Yes thank you Seguchi san" bowing a bit I walk away immediately then run once I'm out of their sight.

Why won't they stay in the damn past?!

Leave me alone!

Why now? Why?!

Oof!

Again!

I sort of don't want to look up for fear of someone else from my past being there.

"Oi watch where you're going brat" well I am partially right just wrong past but none the less a hurtful one.

"Yuki?"

"What" why are you always so damn angry with me? Do you hate me that much?

"Nothing sorry, I'm just leaving." I walk around him but he stops me by grabbing my hand.

"Wait"

"What is it?" just leave me alone please.

"I…I" he hesitates a brief moment obviously not use to what he's going to say to me. My how the confident cold hearted bastard has fallen. "I came here to see if you would like to talk to me…" mumbling now are we?

And they aren't insults?

I should clap for him.

"So um we could go to a uh a diner or something." Deciding for me as always?

"How do you know I would say yes Yuki?" he flinches at me before coughing a bit clearing his voice.

"I don't but…want to?" it's weird seeing him trying to contain his anger. He never did before, heck, all he use to do was take it out on me!

Come to think of it now, he's was never different from THEM, HER to be exact. He abused me too and maybe deep down he's worse because I opened up to him more than anybody else. More than I would allow myself to open up to and what did he do with me, he broke me just like them.

The fights, the insults, getting kicked out in the middle of the night (in winter too!) then the betrayal.

What's the point of changing it now?

I'm an idiot for doing this.

"Fine but not at some diner. I'm staying at Ryuichi's so you can come with me there since it'll be more comfortable." A real idiot.

"Sure um like me to drive you instead of walking?" you're trying too hard Yuki, you really are.

Not like it will change anything.

What the heck I do need a ride before someone I don't want to see pops up again. The bitch with Tohma right now serves as proof.

"Ok" keep your mouth shut Shuichi "T-thank you…Yuki"

I hate you self.

* * *

**Me; hmm not quit what I wanted but meh! More to come! And for Pink frozen rose; Yuki still calls Shuichi his brat because he loves him and wants to get him back. He still thinks of Shu shu as his. He has yet to know the depths of Shuichi's hidden hatred. **

**Yuki; WHAT?! ME?! STILL LOVE THE IDIOT?! Pssh! Never! Not once or in a million years! **

**Me; *ignores the ranting Yuki* As for what Yuki did to Shu shu besides the cheating I will get to in the next chapter! **

**Yuki; I DON'T AND NEVER LOVED SHUICHI—OUCH! *glares downwards***

**Shuichi; -_- *walks away* don't have time for this shit. **

**Yuki; Sh-shuichi? *looks at him walking away* my god…WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM YOU NEKO SKANK?!**

**Me; *Evil smirk* nothing my dear Yuki. It's what YOU have done to him! I'm surprised you got mad about the loving part instead of the hatred part. **

**Yuki; O_O **


	8. You both are

**Me; Ok so I just want to apologize to the readers for dragging this thing out but here is when things will hit the fan!**

**Yuki and Shuichi; How so?**

**Me; You both will see but for warning this is bumping up to rated M for reasons like the beginning in here:D**

**Shuichi; WHAT?! *quivers* W-w-w-why do I get the f-feeling I wi-will not like this one b-it?**

**Me; Cause you're not gonna like this one bit :3**

**Shuichi; NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Me and Yuki; Enjoy**

* * *

I had tried making excuses for him.

Over again and again I have made all kind of excuses for how Yuki treated me that even I myself began believing in them to keep my sanity intact.

After all…Yuki was my angel.

The ice lord could do know in my eyes.

Always the one to be wronged never the one to do wrong.

That is how my mind worked when involving the blonde writer. He was a noble and I was trash, him an angel from the clouds and me a demon rotting in hell.

In some twisted way of our fairy tale Yuki was an obsession, a drug that I couldn't stop myself from having until I finally forced to have an intervention. When my eyes were opened and the drug left my body all what was left was confusion and a whole residue of anger.

The main question I would ask myself was; **why did I let myself get treated that way? **

Not just with Yuki but people in general that has ever hurt me.

The bastard father I never knew,

The bitch that gave birth to me in this godless world,

The prick said bitch married,

HIM,

Kids throughout my years,

ASK,

NG in general,

Hiro,

Yuki.

After rehab (as Ryuichi would call it) I had some resolution, some giant hit of an epiphany.

**Yuki was all of these people that had hurt me combined into one soul incased in an angelic vessel. **

He would do what everyone seemed to have done to me in just one day, each day; it was like living back in the past where nothing has changed.

_"Yuki stop!" my face was bruised and I could taste the blood dripping from my nose and busted lip. "Yuki please don't! you're drunk! STOP!" _

_Another punch "Shut the fuck up you annoying fuck hole!" a kick to the stomach. More punches and slaps to the thing I called my face. "Now are you willing to listen to me you stupid slut?" _

_He didn't give me time to respond, not that I would have with how moving at the time hurt. He didn't wait or have mercy when he stripped me then shoved himself inside. Didn't wait for me to get use to him being inside, he just shoved then thrusted until I bled and screamed murder. _

_Bite marks_

_Cuts_

_Bruises_

_Chokes _

_Then…he finished._

_I was thankful when I felt him shudder above me signaling the end of the whole thing. He would get off me kick me a couple more times then leave to the room to go to bed. _

_What I did not know or see coming was him picking up the clothes I had on before he stripped me, which was a tank top and boxers, then him grabbing a handful of my pink hair hard. _

_I thought my hair would rip my scalp when he began dragging me to the door. Once there Yuki threw me out along with the clothes. _

_It was the middle of January and snowing, cold, so cold. _

_I banged on the door after putting the tank top and boxers on begging for Yuki to let me back in. he never opens the door, like so many times he screamed at me to shut the fuck up and leave him the fuck alone. He then threw insults after insults while laughing at my pain when I cried._

_It was getting too cold as night dawned._

_He wasn't going to open it until morning which meant I had two options at that point. _

_Stay and surely freeze to death or take a chance and walk to Hiro's or my mother's house. I had a better chance with the second option because then I was moving around preserving the heat in my body. _

_Hiro wasn't there when I needed him. _

_Where he was I didn't know so it was off to mother._

_All the way across town I had to walk barefooted to get there. _

_I couldn't help it; my wallet was back in Yuki's apartment so I couldn't take a bus or taxi. _

_I stayed the week at my mother's fighting off __hypothermia and frostbite, mild mind you. She tried convincing me to come back and live with her and Maiko but like a fool I declined._

_I couldn't leave Yuki._

_'He was drunk he doesn't know what he did.'_

_Lies but lies that I convinced were the truth._

_Yuki came and got me later on, he asked what happened and called me an idiot when I told him a lie of wanting to try walking out in the cold. He never found out about the injuries his drunk self gave me__._

_They healed before he could see them. _

_When we got back to his apartment he just went into his study and locked the door leaving me like every other NORMAL day. _

If you are to ask me then I would say…yes I am more than pissed off at the blonde ice king for the things he did and ways he treated me.

And it's not misplaced anger either.

This anger is as deep as the ocean goes.

It's clear so tell me why I am here walking up to Ryuichi's place with said ice king following behind?

An tensed silence has been smothering us since I agreed we talked, dumbest mistake on my part but with the things I've been reflecting on, it's necessary. There are things dying to be said and lashed out on the blonde. I think I've been silenced enough to have the right to lash out don't you?

"So um…Shu…" I think I'm starting to enjoy this fretting Yuki.

My absence seemed to have knocked him down a few ladders.

"Yes Yuki?"

"Who is that?" huh?

Looking at where he's pointing we make out a silhouette standing by the door of the place smoking a cigarette. The shadow seemed to have spotted us or me anyways.

"Shuichi!" Hiroshi comes bounding down the steps.

Now in front of my path I can see him squinting his eyes then frown darkly "What is HE doing here?" pointing to Yuki who is glaring back at him.

"What are YOU doing here?" Yuki shoots back.

"I came to talk to Shuichi!"

"Same here!"

They're both giving me a headache.

Better stop them before I get pissed off "You would think you two would get along after sleeping with each other." My sarcasm clamps their mouths shut. Good. "Now then you both can talk to me come on." Might as well kill two birds and then let the past lay buried.

They follow me like dogs with their tails between their legs.

* * *

"What are you doing here harassing Shindou" Tohma sat behind his desk with his head held high and hands folded. His infamous smile was gone leaving man without the protection of his manipulative ways.

Not that it would do good anyhow.

The woman standing in front of him was as cunny and witty maybe even more so than Tohma Seguchi himself. She, other than Mika, was the only one who knew how Tohma worked so she could not and would not be fooled by Tohma should he try to manipulate her.

Mimi Teufel was...well to say the lease a devil as meant in her last name. She herself had tricked Tohma in the past and that had led to...things.

Well that thing is what brought these two together again this night after all these years and Tohma was not going to let this go to waste. No. He needed answers and he would get them come hell or heaven.

"Well Tohma love here we all after how many years has it been?" Mimi smiled reapplying some lipstick that has faded a bit. "Twenty years now right? After you and Ryuichi replaced me with that Noriko bitch am I correct."

"Still bitter about that?" Tohma sighed at this women recalling why Nittle Gasper had kicked her out the band before they took off and became famous.

She use to be the girl in the band before Noriko joined.

Mimi got kicked off because she was...an attention whore.

The woman tried calling the shots and even taking Ryuichi's lace more than twice every single time they had a gig. The woman was also reckless with everything she did.

Partying, drinking, drugs, men.

She went with any man as long as they paid her. That's how she got her money besides the band, she would sleep around and let men use her. She didn't care; as long at the guys had money or were rich she didn't care.

But the two people she was trying to get with were her band mates.

"You were too reckless for the band, not too mention you drugged me and Ryuichi one time! We woke up not knowing what the hell happened" Tohma was losing his composure remembering what had happened twenty years ago.

_Him and Ryuichi were talking about dropping Mimi. They were sitting in the basement of Tohma's house when they heard someone break a window from upstairs. _

_Before either could react and charge the door to the basement flung open and a familiar screech called out. _

"Oh yes I remember that day" Mimi grinned.

_She broke through the window of Tohma's house. She knew they were going to dump her from the band, she heard them imply it the week before. _

_Being out of the band meant losing money and she couldn't have that. _

_So she had a plan. _

_Throwing open the basement door because that's where her mates always were, she hollered hello to them!_

_Running down she smiled making sure to mask the current of anger brewing inside her. She played stupid of their plans and offered them a drink farcing drunk. A reluctant Tohma and Ryuichi took the drink if it'll mean getting rid of the party girl sooner._

_Next thing they knew the world has blackened and they woke up with no pants or boxers, not knowing what happened and what Mimi did to them. _

_Fed up with her, they dumped her the next day making her plans backfire on her and nine months later Mimi gave birth to a baby boy._

"I tried killing the pest when my plans failed that day but the Kitten wouldn't die. Party three times as hard hoping he would be aborted that way but look at him, still kicking."

"You disgust me" Tohma was appalled "How you ended up rich I can pnly guess" she married into some rich family. "Now then, who exactly is the father?"

Was he the father or Ryuichi?

Ever since he found out about Shindou's origins he's been digging through the kid's past files. He found intriguing that most files were confidential and restricted even to him Tohma Seguchi, the man ho has the world in the palm of his hands.

He doesn't know most things revolving around Shindou but evidence led him to the kid being his or Ryuichi and now that the woman who gave birth to the child was here he was going to put the mystery to rest.

Intently staring into the NG's president's face, Mimi smiled crookedly leaning down to go into her purse. She giggled as she took out a folded piece of paper and handed it to her ex band mate.

Taking the paper, Tohma scanned the paper, his eyes went wide and mouth slack. Looking back up he was faced with Mimi's smug look and cruel eyes as she answered his question verbally taking in bliss the boss man's shocked face.

_**"You both are the farther."**_

* * *

**Me; More to come!**

**Yuki ans Shuichi; How...is that...possible? O_O **

**Me; YOU WILL SEE!**

**Yuki; You...*shakes head and walks away* I give up on this bitch.**

**Me; :D **

**Shuichi; What ever happened to the concert?**

**Me; OH! Yea I meant for that to be in the last chapter but then I changed my mind because the concert part I want to use for another reason. It's coming don't worry Shu! For now just live it up and lash out at Yuki and Hiro in next chapter:3**

**Shuichi; -_- **


End file.
